Months ago, I wrote a post about taking the high road. Sometimes, it really stinks. I mean really.
I don’t like saying negative stuff about people and companies. And, my guess is most of us don’t (hmmm . . maybe I’m wrong about that). But, sometimes you just want to call out the absolutely idiotic behavior of others. Then your sensibilities set in and you realize it would be majorly uncool so you don’t.
You have to be careful though, not to confuse taking the high road for being a doormat. If people are bad-mouthing you or jerking you around, you need to stick up for yourself. If you don’t, no one else will. And, if people around you are doing things that are unethical, illegal or immoral, then not speaking up isn’t taking the ‘high road’…it’s tacit approval which can undermine your personal credibility.
The important thing to remember when addressing these matters is, stay with the facts and take individual personalities out of the equation.
It’s also important to remember who you work for and what you do for a living. I’ve seen so many people make snarky remarks and then wonder why people won’t do business with them. Duh – because you made it personal (remember stick to the facts).
But actually, the one I’ve seen more often is people who won’t stick up for themselves or what’s right and wonder why people won’t do business with them. Let’s face it…if you aren’t willing to stand up for what you believe in, why would any company hire you and give you access to their employees, equipment, money, etc. You haven’t demonstrated that you’ll act in the best interest of anyone, much less their company.
Simply put, taking the high road means not lowering yourself to the snippy comments of others. It isn’t about avoiding conflict at all costs. Conflict and disagreement can often bring positive change. Hmmm…I see a post about conflict coming in the near future…
Image courtesy of Peter McDermott
0
laurie ruettimann says
I need a quick lesson in taking the high road because I’m really tempted to sock someone in the gut, right now, via my blog.
Rats. Fine. I’ll take the high road. This means that I can’t be passive-aggressive in my tone, right? Or say things that have double meanings?
Ugh. So hard. I’ll try my best. Stay tuned.
Sharlyn Lauby says
Thanks for commenting Laurie. It is hard. And we have to decide if we want to rant about it or just move on to bigger and better things.
Success is the best revenge I always say…
Jennifer V. Miller says
Sharlyn,
I’ve noticed a decided lack of taking the high road on various social media outlets. In fact, just the other day, read a tweet by a well-known person in our field who skewered another person publicly on Twitter. It was a bit shocking. Maybe it’s because I know the target of his criticism and therefore felt the jab even more sharply. Prehaps that particular forum really brings it out due to the 140 character constraint.
Hah! I just realized the double entendre: “character constraint”. As you point out, it takes character to take the high road. It would appear certain social media outlets constrain one’s character.
Paul Smith says
Media and entertainment is flooded by examples of people “acting out” “venting” and “not letting anyone get the better of them”. And taking the high road is seen as weak. But taking the high road requires us to control our emotions and act like adults which requires more effort.
I would like to see more effort from the HR industry/bloggers in discouraging people from acting like children and reversing this socially acceptable norm. Too often I hear people saying they just “need” to vent. I disagree. It’s a want and a choice. Rarely do I see a benefit from this. Most of the time, it just encourages the person to continue venting, instead of gaining control of their emotions. Ultimately, it can be destructive, unproductive and a detriment to achieving goals.
p.s. this is a link to my favorite song this year: Broken Bells “The High Road” http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/s/The+High+Road/2yTVhx
Sharlyn Lauby says
@Jennifer – I’ve seen this too. I wonder if people are confusing the concept of transparency with “I can say whatever I want to whoever I want.” Which is certainly true…but comes with a price.
@Paul – Mr. B and I were just talking about how television entertainment seems to be getting joy out of watching the misery of others. Wonder how that translates to our real-life interactions. Even the best of us are entitled to an occasional rant…but when it’s all the time? Or when it crosses the line to being hateful and mean? I’m with you…that doesn’t bring anything to the discussion.
P.S. Thanks for the song link…just downloaded it!
Jennifer V. Miller says
Sharlyn,
I don’t know if people are confused or just at a point where civility is nothing but a quaint relic of a bygone era.
I agree with you and Mr. B. that some of the TV shows that pass as “entertainment” for the masses definitely don’t cut it in our house. Why in the world would I find enjoyment seeing people get thwacked or pummeled on an obstacle course?
Sharlyn Lauby says
The end of civility…sounds like a blog post. 😉 You should go for it!