Normally I sleep like a rock. But recently I haven’t been sleeping well. One night, while I was surfing the infomercials to cure my insomnia, I stumbled across a commercial from a drug company about losing weight or smoking cessation (something like that.) It was one of those “make a better you for the new year” products. But the commercial started out like this:
If your efforts haven’t worked so far remember this – it’s not that you’ve failed, it’s just your method has.
Do people really understand this difference? Reminds me of the Thomas Edison quote, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
When something doesn’t go right for you, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You have not personally failed. It’s just that the theory, process, hypothesis, or methodology didn’t achieve the desired result. See the difference?
Okay, so now what? Let’s examine another favorite quote from that guy Albert Einstein, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” When something doesn’t work, don’t give up and declare it a failure. Reevaluate your actions and find a different solution. A change in your methodology should achieve a different – hopefully desired – result.
I want to take this convo about failure one step further. In this economy, chances are you’re either someone who is unemployed or you know someone who is. Maybe you’ve been job hunting for quite a while without achieving your desired result – that new great job. You are not a failure. Let me repeat that . . . you’re not a failure. You simply haven’t found the right method to achieve that goal. Don’t be afraid to try something new and different. And keep trying and changing until you find what works.
I’ve written before about failure and how it can cause people to do desperate things when they take it personally. Failure is a strong word and none of us want to be called a failure. Creativity, persistence, and keeping perspective between people and processes are key elements in achieving success.
The HR Store says
Excellent post! This couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Thanks for sharing.
hr bartender says
Thanks for the comment. I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
Jonathan Hyland says
This is really great advice; thank you! I’ve struggled with this myself lately. I was forced into a Sales role at my company (against my protests when the re-org. happened) and since then have felt like a failure because I can’t make my sales quota.
I started to realize that it’s not a surprise I’m not excelling – I didn’t want to be in sales in the first place. So I finally decided to make a change by pursuing other open positions in the company, and look outside for other opportunities. I’m happy to say I’ve found some! Not all of them are paying, but they engage my other interests and also give me valuable experience for that next paid gig.
hr bartender says
Thanks for sharing and congrats on your new opportunities. You’re point is spot on – focus on what you can do and things will fall into place.
Marsha Keeffer says
It would benefit all of us to impersonalize failure – it happens every day to lots of people and it doesn’t mean a damn thing other than as a warning to try something else.
TheHRD says
I don’t disagree with a word you have written. I wonder sometimes how much of this comes from setting the wrong targets as well. I was speaking to the coach of a hugely successful Olympic team the other day. He was talking about the way that he had changed the mentality of the team (they are the most successful in their sport) from aiming to winning gold medals to aiming to put in their best peformance. The medals were not the target, but the result of achieving the target.
hr bartender says
@Marsha – I like the way you phrased it. “Impersonalize failure.” Thanks for sharing!
@TheHRD – Thanks for adding to the conversation. It’s a good point – setting the right targets is key. I’ve seen (and I’m sure you have too) many times where a situation doesn’t turn out as planned. Not because it wasn’t executed properly, but because the right goal wasn’t in place.
Jay D'Aprile says
Sharylyn,
It is truly difficult to implement your suggestion to “Impersonalize failure” but people have to realize that their career is a journey and not a destination. I make sure to take the time every week to speak with unemployed executives who reach out to me and I believe that not taking it (it being fired or RIFFED) personally is a realization that takes some people a long time to understand. However with the passage of time and the ability to take a step back I believe that “failure” really is just the opportunity to learn from our mistakes. Everything happens for a reason even though when it happens sometimes it makes no sense..To everyone who is looking just hang in there!
hr bartender says
Thanks for commenting Jay. I like your point about a career being a journey, not a destination. I’ve always felt if you learned something, then the experience never really was a “failure.” As you mentioned, in order to see the positives, sometimes you have to remove your emotions from the situation.