There have been several articles recently about Facebook, specifically discussing the pros/cons about who you should “friend”. The convo centers around whether you should friend your boss or your colleagues. If you’ve missed them, you can check them out here, here, here and here. Be sure to give them a glance. There’s some really good info.
I’d like to give you a different slant on friending or unfriending (whichever the case may be.)
First, I strongly suggest thinking about who you want to connect with. Establish a friending policy, if you will. Do this before you start friending the whole world. And, be in a position to respond if others want to connect with you…but they don’t meet your friending criteria. Two situations to consider:
You initially go out on Facebook and friend a bunch of professional acquaintances. Then for whatever reason, you decide to only use Facebook for personal stuff. So you unfriend all of your professional acquaintances (yes, people actually do this). Is it possible you might have offended someone along the way?
At a business meeting, the discussion turns to social media and who is using what applications. Everyone starts inviting people to friend them on Facebook. You’re not open to friending acquaintances, so what’s your response? And does that help or hurt you in setting a good impression?
Now you might say, hey – it’s my Facebook page and I’m allowed to friend and unfriend whoever I want. And, you would technically be correct. But, let me toss out two types of people you might want to think about while developing your friending policy.
People who can help you find a job. Latest word in the media is that unemployment will hit double digits in the near future. Ask yourself if it makes sense to friend (and/or unfriend) someone who could help you find your next opportunity.
People who can give you business. Whether you’re a business owner, consultant, sales professional, etc. could your friending policy help or hurt your business relationships?
So you might reach the conclusion to not be über restrictive with your Facebook friending policy. But realistically speaking, there are some folks you might not want seeing everything you’re up to. Besides doing the obvious – don’t post anything on Facebook that you don’t want the whole world to see – learn about Facebook’s privacy settings. They allow you to control who sees what. My local newspaper, the Sun-Sentinel, did a brief tutorial on establishing friend groups and privacy settings. It’s very helpful. Be sure to check it out.
The privacy settings also allow you to hide what you consider to be annoying posts, like the results of Facebook quizzes or games. And, if a person is annoying you…same goes for them. For instance, you have a little tiff with someone and don’t want to look at their face. Just take them out of your feed. A month later when you’re on speaking terms again…you can simply add them back.
I wanted to toss out this angle because, while Facebook might have initially started as a personal tool, it’s quickly becoming a personal and professional tool. Ultimately, a person’s decision to friend or unfriend someone is theirs and should be theirs alone. But ask yourself, “How does my Facebook network impact my professional career?” And, make sure you’re comfortable with the answer.
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Hi! I’m Sharlyn Lauby, an HR pro turned consultant. I created HR Bartender so people would have a friendly place to discuss workplace issues. And since, over the years, I’ve developed a real appreciation for the culinary arts (translation: I’m a foodie) you’ll see some of that here too. So pull up a stool and order your favorite drink…the bar is always open.
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Love your blog..
Love your posts!
This is solid.
I can’t emphasize enough that connecting with people who are good for your career and business is the right idea. I also can’t emphasize enough that if there are pictures on Facebook that shouldn’t be there, you might as well take it down. No matter how tight you keep it, some how, some way, they always end up getting out.
I’ve had no problem letting professional acquaintances know that I prefer to limit my professional contacts to LinkedIn, as I use Facebook for more familial relations. Most are already active there, and those that aren’t quickly discover what they’ve been missing. And besides, it’s not just about what personal tidbit you might over share with a colleague, but what your friends might share as well (about you or others), things which you truly have little to no control over.
These are much the same reasons why I have separate blogs. One for my professional and editorial content; the other, a blog I began while still in college, with reflections on my personal and academic life, not meant for sharing with colleagues and acquaintances.
Hi Sharlyn
Great post. From painful experience, I know just how dangerous it is to post first, think later. Many employers in the UK (presume same everywhere) are screening potentials on all the networks now, as well as barring them subsequently from using it when they do hire. It’s like, we know you are on Facebook – that’s why we hired you – but you can’t be at work. Do you think HR needs a class on this? Do they teach this in the US? I know they don’t here, though we’re soon going to try and change this.
I think more people are starting to realize the power of social media and, as such, recognizing the need to train employees on how to use the tools. Companies that try to take the approach of stopping people from using Facebook and Twitter are only going to get left behind.
Hi Sharlyn – I wish I had read this before I signed up for Facebook. I would have avoided the “friend everyone who requests” mistake and the resulting “is it politically incorrect to unfriend” someone for whatever reason.
For me, I now have decided to use Facebook for personal reasons and to expose my friends and family just a little to my professional side (blogging and writing). What others decided is neither right or wrong, they key is to have a strategy and stick with it…
I always enjoy stepping up to your bar and learning from you! Best wishes! Joe
Thanks for commenting Joe. We tend to talk about Facebook in terms of professional colleagues learning about our personal lives. But as you mentioned, there could be an additional benefit of sharing your work with family (unless of course you’re a professional hit-man…ha.ha.)