Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Someone recently asked me “What kind of work do you do?” and I said that I was a human resources professional. The person gave me a look and said how they were called into HR once because they overheard a conversation and HR needed to ask them about it. They said the conversation was fine but that they always felt going into HR was like going to the principal’s office in school.
My response? “It’s not supposed to be that way.”
For years, HR departments have been perceived as disciplinarians and a place to avoid. But like I said, I doesn’t have to be that way. We can use our communication skills to create connections around the organization and influence perceptions.
That was my takeaway from Scott Tillema’s session at SHRM24. Tillema is a retired SWAT hostage negotiator who has been trained by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). His session at the conference was focused on using the power of communication to create connection and business success.
Tillema started his session discussing decision-making and how both individuals and organizations often make decisions using emotion versus logic. You could easily equate this to those times when managers say their “gut” tells them to do something versus looking at the data. These are the times when we want to use our communication skills to connect and hopefully influence someone to look at things differently. Tillema talked about four key communication strategies that can help create that connection and influence.
Manage yourself first. It’s important to recognize your own communication strengths and weaknesses when trying to build connections with others. For instance, listen to the environment around you to understand what’s going on. If you want to build connections, you need to know your audience. Part of figuring out your audience is knowing yourself.
Have the courage to start the conversation. Sometimes a person might say to themselves, “If an opportunity presents itself, I’ll speak up.” Or “I’ll wait and see if they ask me.” If we wait for the opportunity, it might not happen. Or it could be too late to have an impact. The second part of starting the conversation is being prepared to reveal a piece of yourself to create connection. Maybe it’s admitting that you’ve been in the same situation, and it didn’t turn out so well. Starting the conversation is the communication part. Revealing yourself is the connection piece.
Communicate well. In the first bullet, we talked about knowing your communication strengths and weaknesses. Communication skills are something we should be working on all the time. We want to communicate messages the right way using the right tools. And part of communicating well is empathetic listening. When it comes to communication, set goals for yourself and work on those goals. For example, someone who knows they get distracted by computer notifications, might want to develop a habit of closing the laptop or turning them off when meeting with others.
Create connections. One of the things that I liked about Tillema’s session was that creating connections wasn’t a one-time outcome. It’s something we should be doing all the time. I thought of this as a cycle. As we become more self-aware, we can become better communicators. And as we become better communicators, we can create connections. Those connections help us become more self-aware.
Regardless of your role in the organization, having good communication skills is critical. Our communication skills allow us to connect with others, give and receive feedback, and influence decision making. This is how we get things done and help the organization accomplish its goals.
Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of Tampa, FL
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