I received this note from a reader asking about social media relationships.
I’m in a workplace where there is quite a bit of personal information shared between colleagues via social networks. Colleagues are now more apt to be ‘friends’ which changes the personal stuff and associated emotions being conveyed! I’d be interested to hear a few more words on the subject.
I totally agree that the popularity of social media has blurred our definition of relationships. At one time, work was work and home was home – the two never or rarely crossed over. Now, we have work friends, personal friends, acquaintances and colleagues. It can be very confusing – not only in deciding who to friend; but who you believe your friends are.
When it comes to social networks, the first thing I’d suggest is think about the reason you’re using a social network. This will tell you a lot about whether to connect, invite or friend someone. Also keep in mind, as platforms evolve over time, so will the reason you use them. This could impact relationships down the road.
For example, I have several Facebook friends who decided to create professional pages for themselves. As a result, they changed who they’re connected with on their personal Facebook page. Some of them made announcements about the change and encouraged people to engage with them on their professional page. Some just unfriended people with no explanation. Either way is acceptable. I mean, it’s your Facebook page, right? Do with it what you wish. But remember – our actions can have repercussions (and hurt feelings.)
I wish there was a one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to social networking. But there’s not and I’m not sure that’s a bad thing. It’s part of what makes social networking unique and fun. From my vantage point, it looks like the people who are most successful with their social relationships are the ones who do what makes sense for them. They can communicate the reason they are involved in social media and their strategy for engagement.
The other part of this reader comment has to do with the content being shared via social networks. All I can say is this: Please consider anything you post on social networks to be the same as having it printed on the front page of the newspapers. Yes, I know there are privacy guidelines. The reality is anyone can take a screen image of your comment and post it anywhere on the interwebs.
Also, consider the ability for comments to be taken out of context. Let’s point out the elephant in the room – there are plenty of people on social media who think their sole purpose in life is to send out entertaining quips. They don’t necessarily stop to consider how it’s interpreted. They just consider it fun to be edgy or snarky.
Again, the best approaches I’ve seen are the ones where people have put some dedicated thought into why they’re using social media and act accordingly. If your goal is to be like Ali G, and send out one-liners on Twitter…that’s great. If it’s not, well…you’ve got some thinking to do. And I hope you take the time to consider your strategy.
Make the plan and work the plan. That’s the key to success.
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Marguerite Granat says
Sharlyn, this is a timely post. You give great advice here. I agree with you that involvement in Social Media needs to be treated with care and a well thought out plan. Personal branding is key and also understanding each platform’s purpose. For me, the most challenging platform is Facebook. I believe Facebook is going through a major transformation and a lot of ambiguity. It is great that they have come up with the lists which enables the user to have more control on what is shared with whom. Appreciate your posts-they are always timely!
Human Resource Information System says
This is such an illuminating post. This is great, as I interact with a lot of people in my workplace. Even some of my friends work there.
Sharlyn Lauby says
@Marguerite I agree Facebook can be a challenge. I’ve seen many people redefining their Facebook presence because of the new subscription feature and Google+. Thanks for sharing!
@HRIS Thanks for the comment.
Brendan says
In grad school, I had a professor who was very clear about never friending any current students. My attitude is that I won’t friend anyone who is above or below me in my employment hierarchy, or, for that matter, relatives who are aunt, uncles, etc, nor will I friend anyone whom I don’t actually know.
On Facebook, friend count is often competitive or seen as a measure of popularity. I’m an introvert and perfectly happy with 75 friends who are all, in the real world, at least acquaintances.
If I can readily identify a circumstance under which I would unfriend someone, like leaving a job, then I don’t friend that person on the first place.
Sharlyn, you’re right that anyone can do a screen dump and attach that Paint file to an email and send it all over the world. With internet archives like the Wayback Machine, folks can access what you post even if you delete it later. Anything posted online is public and permanent.
Sharlyn Lauby says
@Brendan Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’ve spoken to several people who say drawing boundaries about who they engage with on Facebook is tough. Especially with people they have met or work with regularly. There’s almost an implied “Why wouldn’t you connect with me?”
Right now, I see a trend of people redefining their Facebook presence. And making their pages more personal. If someone is trying to use Facebook for professional purposes, they’re creating company pages or professional pages.
This means as individuals, we have to realize there might come a time when we might be unfriended or our invitation to connect is rejected. That doesn’t mean the relationship doesn’t exist. It just means the people involved have different uses for their social media accounts.