Managers can’t be afraid of giving feedback to workers and disciplining them if necessary because they fear a complaint will be filed against them, human resources professionals told Sharlyn Lauby. “Supervisors who act in fear are like blood in the w…

Several of you have commented that the bullying is often allowed to persist because no one will say anything to him or her. This is true for several reasons. For one, nobody really knows what it is. If you tell your manager you are being sexually harassed – that’s easy! There’s a corporate policy already in place, investigative procedures to follow, and it’s easy to define. If you go to your manager and say you are being bullied, abused, or harassed, it is a lot harder for them to understand what you are saying. In addition, unless the harassment falls under a protected class, it is legal. This means most companies don’t have policies against equal-opportunity-bullying. There’s no guidelines to follow, leaving management lost on how to respond to your complaint.

I liked Gina’s point – often bullies are seen as high performers the company can’t live without – but if they are literally driving performance down in everyone else then certainly they are anything but.

If you are being bullied, here are some quick tips for talking to management or HR about it:
1. Collect all the documentation you can. Save emails, memos, and other tangible items. Keep a journal of all incidences, including who saw, dates and times, and where it occured. While it will be difficult, do your best to keep your emotions out of the journal.
2. Visit the employer tab on our site, http://www.NoWorkplaceBullies.com. It will provide you with lots of amunition to present to HR/managers, including a white paper and worksheet that lays out the costs of a bully.
3. Present the facts to HR/management. While discussing what’s happened, as difficult as it will be, keep the “I feel…” statements out. This makes the story about you and makes you appear as a victim. And research finds that most targets are seen as the problem. Telling the story with facts and documentation makes the story about the bully and you are instead seen as a target, and hopefully this results in the bully being seen as the problem instead.
4. Do your best to keep the bully from hurting your work. Bullies drive down performance, and if managers are looking at the numbers you will be seen as the poor performer. This is a difficult task, but do everything you can to stay that top performer you know you are.
5. Use assertive body language. Keep your chin up, make eye contact with the bully, hands on hips or at your side, both feet planted on the ground, toes forward, lean forward slightly, and use the bully’s name often during converstations with him or her.
6. In the end, ask yourself how much your dignity and health is worth. If your manager will not stand up to the bully and the company will not take steps to address it, then find another place to work. You don’t need them.

If you are an employer with a bully-problem, you must address it. No matter how much that person appears to be irreplaceable, that simply isn’t true. Check out our whitepaper, How much does a workplace bully really cost, to find out what kind of damage they are causing. We’ve also got a worksheet to help you determine how much your own organization as spent on the bully’s behaviors. We offer training for managers on identifying bullying and dealing with the behaviors, if anyone’s interested.