Earlier this year, I attended Wordcamp in Miami. It’s a one-day, loosely structured conference with all the topics centered around WordPress blogs – of which, HR Bartender is one. (I wouldn’t say it’s an unconference because it has an agenda.)
Anyhoo, one of the mini-sessions I attended was conducted by Jim Turner, who authors the Genuine blog. During his session, he talked about becoming a blogger and getting accepted by other bloggers. He said the key to his success was simple – never ask your community to “buy your S@#% and click your junk.”
Makes perfect sense, right?!
Of course, Jim was talking about it in the context of blogging and social media. And he wasn’t talking about sending out a few Tweets after a new post. His point was no one wants to read blogs that constantly do little more than selling – buy my book, hear me speak, come to my event, yada yada. The value lies in engaging members of the community in conversation and building relationships. If you write good stuff, people will naturally want to know what you do.
But recently, I find Jim’s words coming back to me in the face-to-face world.
You know, having to deal with the people who only call you when they want something. Or the folks who are suddenly able to grab that cup of coffee because now they’re looking for a job. Or complete strangers who want to meet with you so you can tell them how to be a successful consultant.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for helping those in need, giving back and sharing. But, this isn’t a one way street. Good networking involves giving before getting. What I’m saying is there’s a fine line between networking – real networking – and just asking people to give you stuff.
And regardless of whether someone gives you a gift of their time and expertise or there’s a mutual exchange, it’s important to recognize and thank the other person.
I’m sure on some level this sounds like a rant…and maybe it is. I don’t begrudge anyone for earning a living. And, I whole-heartedly live by the philosophy “if you don’t ask, you don’t get”. It’s just important that we regularly take stock in our conversations and make sure we’re giving along with the getting.
Are we spending too much time asking people to buy our stuff and click our junk? If so, maybe that’s OK. Or is it time to revisit our approach…
Hi! I'm Sharlyn Lauby, an HR pro turned consultant. I created the HR Bartender blog so people would have a friendly place to discuss workplace issues. And since, over the years, I've developed an appreciation for the culinary arts (translation: I'm a Foodie) you'll see some of that here too. So, pull up a stool and order your favorite drink . . . the bar is always open.
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Right on, Sharlyn. There’s a art to the contextually appropriate times to sell to each other, and it comes easier when there is a basis of a communicative relationship first.
People flock to blogs to consume voice and to share voice, not stuff. Same with face-to-face interaction; there must be a reciprocal nature to the exchange.
If you dig each other, you’ll put up with the occasional pitch.
As someone who is bombarded on a daily basis by folks who read my blog, ask for free advice, and become offended when I don’t give it to them, I say “Amen, Sister Sharlyn!” I also agree with “The Other Kevin,” that if you dig each other, you’ll put up with the occasional pitch, as long as it’s truly “occasional.”
Sharlyn,
Rant, cautionary tale, whatever you call it, thanks for putting it out there. This is yet another example of how people fail to be proactive– one needs to build up that “bank account” with deposits of giving, sharing, calling just to chat *before* they can make withdrawls from that same account.
@Kevin G. – Thanks for sharing your expertise. I agree, you earn the right to send an occasional pitch.
@Kevin F. – I hear ya – I wish I could give everyone free advice, but I just can’t. Thanks for commenting!
@Jennifer – I like the bank account analogy. Thank you for sharing!
Very good points! Some people just haven’t figured out the balance of give and take and I’m grateful you laid it out there. That’s the difference between a sales approach and a friendship relationship! It is all about relationship building and “friends” don’t take advantage of friends. Thanks Sharlyn!
Couldn’t say it better if I tried Kathy. Thanks for adding to the convo!
Great points, Sharlyn. As an HR executive, I get calls daily from people that disguise a sale with interest in helping me. Fooie! They want to sell me their products without understanding my business needs. “Have I got a deal for you!”
Also, as an aside, it’s nice to see your husband promoted to Mr. Bartender. Did he get a raise?
Hi Michael. Let me ditto your “Fooie!” I’m getting alot of calls to network that are nothing more than sales pitches. And I’m fine with sales pitches, when I know that’s the purpose of the call.
As far as Mr. B goes…for years, I was the “Duckmaster’s Wife” so it’s his turn. ha!