I recently saw some live tweets from a meeting regarding the issue of trust. One of the comments shared was that teams are dysfunctional because people haven’t given their trust to the other members of the team. I assume from the comment that the idea is we should give our trust to others unconditionally. Versus having people earn your trust.
I can definitely see the speaker’s point that trust is an important part of the team dynamic. People have to trust each other, for teams to be truly effective. That makes sense.
But I’ve been struggling with the concept of giving trust versus earning trust. I mean trust is a pretty big thing. Like love, respect, admiration, etc. I don’t know that we give those unconditionally. People have to earn them. By their actions and by their words. And, once you earn them…if they’re taken for granted or abused, they might be taken away. As in, losing a person’s respect.
Is it possible this is what really happens: when we meet people it’s not that we give them our unconditional trust…but we don’t distrust them. There’s a difference. Maybe there’s a ‘trust limbo’ where we all reside until a person decides they can unconditionally trust us or they need to distrust us. Just a thought I’m tossing out there.
In spending time thinking about trust, what really resonates with me is the speed for which you can lose both a person’s trust and the probably of regaining it. You can lose a person’s trust in an instant, without warning and sometimes without even doing anything. There are people who have been labeled untrustworthy simply because someone else said so.
And, once a person has the label of being untrustworthy…it’s very difficult, if not virtually impossible, to regain that trust. Given how fast you can lose it and how hard it is to regain it, it takes me back to my original question. Are most people willing to give trust unconditionally?
I believe trust is an important dynamic. And, the search for trust in our personal and professional relationships is leading people to expect more transparency in their interactions. Transparency removes barriers so that trust can be given more freely. And even when I might not like what someone has to say, it’s important for me to know they’re being honest and truthful. Because being truthful leads to unconditional trust.
You know you can always trust the Carnival of HR to provide some of the best articles on the web. The latest Carnival is up on InfoHRM, your global leader in workforce planning, reporting and analytics. Thanks to InfoHRM for including the Bartender in today’s Carnival.
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ReviewSNAP says
I can’t say that I agree with giving a teammate your trust unconditionally. A company I worked at previously had a lot of petty, behind the back grudges going on and just deteriorated everyones trust in one another. It would be ideal to be able to automatically and unconditionally trust your teammates, but unfortunately that’s just not the case.
I think a teammate needs to prove that they can be trusted with small tasks before you instill your full trust in them.
Shel Horowitz, ethical marketing expert says
I like Stephen M.R. Covey’s concept in The Speed of Trust that trust requires both confidence and competence; it has both an emotional and an intellectual dimension. People must feel that you are a good person who wants to help–and that you have the ability to follow through and get it done, properly and without needing a lot of supervision.
In my own award-winning sixth book, Principled Profit: Marketing That Puts People First, BTW, I not only explore ways a business can establish that trust, but also the enormous marketing advantages of being a trusted business.
Jessica Garvar says
What a great blog! I have never put words to it like this and now that I have read yours I agree completely. In some cases, especially in business, it has to be earned. Performance, productivity, results; all will earn trust. I like the thought of trust limbo because if we do not “put our trust” in someone initially how can they then “earn” it. A very fine line that is absolutely not black and white. Really has be thinking….I think ultimately we have to trust our own instincts and in some cases take chances to give others the opportunity to truly earn it.
Wally Bock says
A great, thoughtful post. I like your characterization of process. When you first deal with someone you generally don’t distrust them and they don’t distrust you. From there trust is affected by what you do. Keeping your commitments helps trust grow. So does looking out of your partner.
The principle from Covey that Shel referenced is important, too. Trust involves both confidence in how you’ll act toward me and in your ability to perform.
For me trust has always been like trees. They take time to grow, but a fire or a chain saw can take a tree down almost instantly and that tree never grows back.
Michael VanDervort says
I don’t think there is a single factor that is more important in business.
Jon Ingham says
Great post Sharlyn
I was reminded of it via the Leadership Development Carnival and have just included it in the January 2010 Carnival of Trust at:
http://blog.social-advantage.com/2010/01/carnival-of-trust-january-2010.html
hr bartender says
Thanks Jon for including me in the Carnival! I really like the idea of the trust carnival. Please let me know how I can get involved.