First – my apologies, I thought I posted a reply to your question days ago.

I do agree with you that “nice” and “kind” are two different things. Although many people use the words interchangeably.

Ultimately no one competency can or should define us as leaders. We’ve got to incorporate many skills in order to be successful. Perhaps more importantly, we have to stop falling back on those that are easiest and take the difficult path when the need arises.

Thanks again for commenting on the post!

Trust is everything.

“Nice” is a great window dressing – and easily recognizable (even flagged) by those outside of immediate team structures. But fairness, inclusion, and smart business decisions are much preferred leadership qualities as far as I’m concerned.

Another great post, thanks!!

As a professor, I am often cognizant of feelings of unfairness or “playing favorites” that are perceived by students. While I like to believe that I treat all students fairly, particularly in grading, they may feel, through my daily interaction with them, that all students are not treated the same. I may, for example, spend more time with some students than others (i.e., talking to those in the front row informally before or after class, given their closer proximity, than those in the back).

I may think I am being nice and fair, but these unconscious “microinequities” (http://www.magazine.org/content/files/Microinequities.pdf) can pile up and have a negative effect on performance.

A while back I had written a post about whether kindness should be a leadership competency. I think that there is also a place for kindness in leadership, and that kindness is distinctly different from niceness. Your thoughts?